Friday, October 28, 2005

Blast from the Past IV - Life and

This one followed fairly closely after the last, only not so upbeat.

So, it's taken a while for it to really sink in, but I've finally come to the realization that life isn't fair.
I know it sounds obvious, and people say it all the time, but I think everyone gets an epiphany every now and then. Then that little light bulb goes off over your head as you suddenly think "Oh yeah, so this is what they meant. Life really does suck sometimes."
If you read my last column, you might have some inkling as to what put that light bulb up over my head this time. My Father-in-Law was rushed into hospital in critical condition with pneumonia and spent most of a week in Intensive Care fighting for his life. He lost.
On Friday 14 July at about 10pm he died with his family around him.
Sure, people die all the time, but this is the first time someone really close to me has died. But even then, it might not have necessarily driven home that "Life's not fair" message. Except that this was Red. I'll explain, and I'll try not to be too maudlin and depressing about it.
He was one of the nicest guys I have ever met. As far as I'm aware, nobody disliked him, he had a lot of close friends and was a friendly, funny man. Eight years ago he got diagnosed with cancer, the doctors gave him six months to live. But he proved them wrong, he loved doing that - before one operation the doctor told him that he probably wouldn't be able to play golf again, as they were removing a big chunk of one of his shoulder muscles. He told the doctor that the way he played golf it'd probably improve his swing. About a year later he was over the moon when he hit his first hole-in-one.
The really unfair thing is that he had beaten the cancer. He had been clear for two years and had just had a checkup which cleared him again. Then he picks up one stupid little bug, and it kills him. How unfair is that!He was 68, which is old compared to me, but considering that his mother died last year at age 92, he should have had another 20 years in him easily. All we can do is try to think positively, he had eight years longer than he would have if he'd listened to the doctors. In that time he walked his only daughter down the aisle, one of the proudest days of his life; he met his first and only (so far) grandchild; and he took every opportunity to enjoy himself and to help other people out. He was a really nice guy, you couldn't hope to meet a nicer one.
So we miss him, we keep expecting to see him come around a corner, or to speak up and tease us gently, but he's not there. And we keep asking ourselves the same question: "Why?"
And the only answer I can come up with is: "Because life just is not fair."It doesn't always suck, but if it ever looks fair, it's only by accident. It's the only one we get though, so we have to play by its rules. So all of you readers out there (who never email me by the way) make sure you do try to enjoy your lives, and when someone comes along and makes your life a little brighter, make sure you tell them so. Go on, the column's over, go and tell them now.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home